There are a number of simple practices you can put in place to make negotiations constructive and stress-free (or almost). They are guided by two sometimes counter-intuitive principles, but which are important to bear in mind in all negotiation situations: 

• A negotiation is not a conflict with the opposing party, but the resolution of a common problem.
• There are no winners and losers: the aim of a reasoned negotiation is to reach a win-win agreement that satisfies both parties.

Disclaimer: we won't be talking about the art of negotiation or the power of rhetoric in this article, but about a few keys to negotiation that are accessible to everyone. So, if you're not the Wolf of Wall Street, stick with us - you'll love it!

1. Prepare the negotiation as if it were a sales meeting

Whether you're in a sales negotiation or asking your manager for a pay rise, the steps for preparing your negotiation remain the same.

Preparing your negotiation consists in gathering your assets and building your sales pitch by adopting these few reflexes:

• First, define the basic framework of your negotiation: your objective, your starting point and your breaking point, but also your zone of possible agreement, i.e. your negotiating margin.
• Starting from your starting point, list the arguments that should enable you to defend this stated position. For example, if you're conducting a salary negotiation, remind your manager of your recent successes and the professional qualities that led to them.
• Since you won't be alone, you need to ask yourself what you're prepared to do, i.e. 2 or 3 concessions, but also ideas for quid pro quos that you can ask your contact for in exchange for your steps towards them.

Avoid the pitfalls to negotiate better : being optimistic about the approach of a negotiation shouldn't prevent you from preparing for it. In most cases, you won't master everything, so have a plan B! Plan B is the one that determines your real room for maneuver and the stance you'll adopt during your negotiation.

2. Negotiation strategies

Getting off on the right foot is the first step to effective negotiation. By adopting a few tactics, you can assert your position from the outset:

• To gain the upper hand from the outset, it's good practice to announce your starting point first. That way, you set the scene and may even surprise your interlocutor, who will have to adapt his or her speech to your stated position. 
• Learn how to manage silence without backing down, for example by reiterating the features and value of your proposal, or by asking questions to put the ball back in the other person's court and clarify their expectations.
• If you see that the other party is stumbling, don't hesitate to address the subject explicitly, so as not to leave any friction unresolved: "I see that you're reacting to the price, and I must confess that this rarely happens with this product. Could you tell me more about it?" 

Avoid pitfalls to negotiate more effectively : The start of a negotiation is the moment when you show your stance and your conviction. To reinforce this, don't propose concessions at the outset, as they may not be perceived as such.

3. Objections: identifying the real problem

In the course of a negotiation, you're bound to come to a point of disagreement with your counterpart. To help you get through this delicate phase, here are a few practical tips: 

• Active listening : take notes and use the same vocabulary as the person you're talking to. Not only will you prove your involvement in the discussion, but you'll also help them realize that you're speaking the same language, that you understand their point of view.
• Prefer rephrasing to argumentation, using, for example, the phrase "To fully understand...".
• Take a moment to organize your thoughts if you need to : "If you 'll excuse me, I need a few seconds to finish taking down what you've just told me". Once again, you'll be showing your attention.
• Ask for acknowledgements once you've defined the contours of the problem together: "Do we agree that the main sticking point to be resolved is...?"

Avoid pitfalls to negotiate better: Even if you've prepared for this moment, don't put blinkers on. As far as possible, ask open-ended questions to bring out the real issues, not just the ones you've anticipated.

4. For effective negotiation, find solutions together.

The more the negotiation progresses, the more you need to remember that it's not about winning against the opposing party, but about solving a common problem.

One of your objectives is therefore to understand the other person's point of view, to identify their motivations and their margin for concession. Asking the question directly shouldn't be a problem at this stage: "What aspects would you be willing to discuss?" Or "How could we find common ground?"

To reinforce your own concessions, don't hesitate to reaffirm the strong points of your proposal, because your interlocutor needs to understand that you're taking a step towards him. In the same way, when you have to make concessions, do so step by step to show that you do indeed have a breaking point beyond which you are not prepared to go. If need be, ask for unnecessary quid pro quos in return, just so you don't give the impression of laxity ;) 

Last but not least, be creative when it comes to compensation: play with payment deadlines, solution deployment terms, marketing offers, exclusivity, future bonuses... 

Avoid pitfalls to negotiate more effectively: never back down too far on the first try, and set yourself a limit of 5% of your initial proposal. Otherwise, you'll weaken your credibility and therefore the rest of your negotiation.

5. Always conclude. 

The worst-case scenario is to end the negotiations without having reached an agreement. In this case, the negotiation is a failure for both you and the other party, not to mention the fact that it may be difficult to pick up where you left off.

In certain complex negotiation contexts, you may reach a point where everyone is sticking to their positions, and tension, even aggression, is mounting... In this case, take the option of temporarily stepping out of face-to-face negotiation, and possibly switching to an asynchronous communication mode.

You can also ask to conclude in return for a final concession on your part. For example: "So subject to... [summary of negotiation + final concession], will we have reached an agreement?".

Make it obvious to everyone that there are no longer any obstacles to an agreement: "To sum up, we have the budget, your decision-makers have approved it, the timing is right, the teams are ready. What's stopping us from getting started?". Don't hesitate to use channels other than the live discussion to do this: send, for example, a memo highlighting the various elements covered, or an audio file. 

‍Avoidpitfalls to negotiate better: If you reach a point where you're lost in your argumentation, it's best to stall or buy time by inventing false constraints if need be. Your line manager will always be a good candidate for this kind of excuse.

Conclusion

As we said in the introduction to this article, becoming a good negotiator is not an art, but rather a series of small reflexes to adopt, from the preparation of a negotiation to its conclusion. No matter what type of negotiation you're about to conduct, with buyers or your manager, these few techniques will help you develop your negotiating skills and gain confidence for a win-win exchange. NUMA's Negotiation workshop includes a number of role-plays based on complex negotiation situations. The aim is for participants to test these negotiation tools and learn how to avoid pitfalls in conditions: objections swept under the carpet, establishment of a power relationship or aggressiveness, lack of listening and empathy...